I'm really into asian looking animals
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Randomize
