the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
