what if every blade of grass was a penis?
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I can't put those talents on a resume
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
I deserve this hangover.
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