I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Randomize
