remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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