Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Just high enough for therapy.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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