You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Randomize
