You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Randomize
