I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
