I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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