dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
