i was rollin on her like bob the builder
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Randomize
