Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
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