I got chris browned last night
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize
