Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
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