i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
My vagina just clenched in fear
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
