my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
