i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
