Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
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