where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize
