Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
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