For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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