she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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