Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Randomize
