Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Randomize
