there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Randomize
