Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
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