My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
