road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
party gras won. party gras always wins.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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