dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
he shaved USA in his pubs
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Randomize
