i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
Dignity is for republicans.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Randomize
