they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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