He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I have aggressive nipples.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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