He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Randomize
