umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
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