Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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