Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Randomize
