I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
I am midnight drunk by noon
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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