I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
My bed smells like the plague
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
