its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
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