:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
