yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Randomize
