The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Randomize
