someone threw a dead crab at me
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
