You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
