I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
