and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Randomize
