Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Randomize
