No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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