Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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