A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
I wannas sexs uuuuu
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
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