It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
